Alan Kesler is een Larry David looking weirdo guy

Alan Kesler is een Larry David looking weirdo guy 0001

Alan Kesler is een nerderige pokerspeler die zichzelf ooit de nickname "Chainsaw" heeft aangemeten. Nou ja, in de realiteit waren het naar verluidt Gavin Smith en Joe Sebok die met die naam op de proppen kwamen, maar Kesler ging zichzelf ook echt zo noemen. Deze pokerspeler is de meest kansloze die je zal tegen komen, bij Nederlanders zal hij vooral bekend zijn omdat hij vorig jaar ruziede met Marcel Lúske over de pokerregels aan tafel (zie video).

Sinds enige tijd is ook de rest van zijn sociale leven weggevallen lijkt het want hij spendeert zijn tijd voornamelijk online. En dan niet om zelf te kaarten maar om blogs te lezen en daarover topics aan te maken op de bekende pokerfora. Een soort Webjoker dus maar dan met brilletje en nog vervelender gedrag. Deze keer had hij de weblog van Daniël Negreanu gevonden. En dus zag hij reden om een topic aan te maken:

Negreanu claims to be a winner in the 400/800 mix. I found it odd that he would claim he was a winner in that game when the prevailing opinion was that he was a big loser in that game. Can this be checked on one of the Database sites?

From his blog....

$400-$800 8 game mix: has quickly become one of the most popular games on the internet and I am happy about that. is the only place you'll find a game like that, and I thoroughly enjoy playing that rotation. Helps to win too!

Laat Daniel Negreanu nou net ook dat forum lezen en dus reageerde hij, kort maar krachtig:

I've never been a losing player in any mixed games at any level I've ever playing during my entire poker career. That includes anything from $200-$400 to $4000-$8000. I haven't been a losing player at pretty much anything I've done, and that INCLUDES NL cash games, despite my awful record on HSP

The 8 game mix is a juicy spot for me. I play all those games well enough, and always find there to be spots in the game, especially recently. I don't have a ton of hours in it, but I've only taken one loss of 20k and am up a little over 100k total in about 5 total plays.

Just sayin'

Fanboys staan klaar om Negreanu aan te moedigen en te bedanken voor zijn reply en dan komt hij nog even terug:

I just realized that the guy who posted this thread was that Larry David looking weirdo guy! You know, the nitty guy who buys into every WSOP event, then goes back and withdraws from the tournament so he could keep the $10 food coupon! LOL, that is actually a true story btw.

Mr. Kessler, if you wanna cross book me in any mixed game I'd be happy to break you. I don't know who told you I was the "spot" in that game, but whoever it is, I'll play them heads up too.

Kesler krijgt rode wangetjes van de aandacht van de grote Negreanu maar wordt ook wat angstig dat de beste man boos op hem is (zelfde als Webjoker dus weer). En dus reageert hij nog snel om wat schade te herstellen:

The rumor about the $10 food coupons is just that... a rumor started by someone who said it as a joke originally. I never doubted that you were a winner in the game, I was just looking for documentation to prove someone wrong who was insisting that you were losing... Sorry if you took it the wrong way....

BTW good job with the triple chips this year at the WSOP if you had anything to do with that....

Negreanu is dan ook de lulligste niet en verontschuldigt zich enigszins:

Ahhhh ok, gotcha. I definitely took it the wrong way then. My bad. Ok, so you are not a weirdo, but you do look like Larry David so I can't take that one back!

Alan Kesler is een Larry David looking weirdo guy 101

David Peat beroofd?

David Peat is online bekend als "Viffer" maar is voornamelijk een live speler. Al maandenlang maakt hij de hoogste live cashgames onveilig en we konden hem ook zien in een cashgame aflevering van Poker After Dark. Binnenkort maakt hij ook zijn opwachting in High Stakes Poker seizoen 5 dus het mag duidelijk zijn: dit is geen kleine jongen in de pokerwereld.

Als hij op het vliegveld staat, onderweg naar één of ander pokerpaleis, moet hij op het laatste moment nog zijn ticket kopen en doet dit cash. Hij besefte zich waarschijnlijk dat het niet normaal is om 15.000 dollar uit je broekzak te toveren om daar wat 100 briefjes uit te vissen om te betalen en dus gingen de stille alarmen rinkelen. Er komen wat heren op Peat af die vragen of hij even zijn telefoon wil ophangen en wat vragen wil beantwoorden:

They asked me to get off phone they had a few questions for me, they looked like bagage guys so i kinda laughed at them. THey showed me dea bdges so obviously i i hung up and answered there questions. they played good cop bad cop and i had about 15 thousand cash in my pocket and the bad cop asked why i had so much money on me, i told him what i did and where i was going. they relunctly let me board plane, so i walk down run way to get on plane and see a line of people so i get back on phone and start telling story mo foing the cops.

Zo dichtbij, maar niet over de streep nog want de heren komen teruggewandeld en pakken meneer Peat even stevig vast en onderwerpen hem aan nog een verhoortje. Geen speciaal kamertje, geen stripsearch maar gewoon midden op de luchthaven grijpen ze de high stakes speler:

im 5 feet from getting on plane and i see them coming back down the runway. they grab me and start asking me if i use an alias, im like no, wich i dont.. they ask me to fallow them and i miss flight. they take me to corner of the bagage claim and ask me to empty pockets and take off jewelry. i do. Now im starting to think i am getting robbed so i yell for someone to call the police they come over and say im screwed and theese guys are dea. 20 min later the dea guys tell me here is a reciept . you will get some thing in mail. they didnt count my money just bagged it, they just put watch on resiept , its a 50k rolex, and the reciept has no contact information on it at all.

i asked them to arrest me they wouldnt they just walked away of course i mother ****ed them and they said i was being disorderly so i said arrest me they wouldnt.'

Peat vertrouwt het dus voor geen meter maar de politie bevestigt dat dit echt DEA is en dus dat hij gewoon ge-good-gamed is. Weg 15.000 dollar, weg 50.000 dollar kostend horloge en geen afschrift of bewijs van ontvangst van enige vorm. Omdat Peat zijn vlucht mist heeft hij een uur extra de tijd om te klagen maar het is aan dovemansoren gericht: Peat heeft dikke pech.

Alan Kesler is een Larry David looking weirdo guy 102

Na het klagen post Peat het online en krijgt hij van de grote namen ook wat verhalen te horen:

[I][B]David Benefield: [/B]Viff i think you got robbed man. If they cant arrest you.. then wtf? Sounds like a pile of crap to me. They didnt even take you into a private room, they just talked to you and did all this in the baggage claim? gg bro

[B]Jcmoussa:[/B] My friend far got 10k confiscated all becUse they found a

1k Atlantis chip that he didn't even know he had on him. He still hasn't gotten the money back. **** that stupid ****ing island.

[B]Michael Martin:[/B] i had a run in with the feds at chicago midway around march last year.

i was flying from omaha to midway and then midway to philly. i had about 80k in cash from the wsop circuit event stuffed in my laptop bag that i always carry when i travel. omaha always has random security checks and for like the fourth time in a row i get picked for the search. i go through the whole process and then have to wait for this tsa kid to search my laptop bag. i sit there and watch him begin searching through it and im just waiting for his reaction to the money cause i know its gonna be a problem to some degree. he begins searching it and then sees the pouch where the money was in and his eyes bulge out of his head. he looks up at his partner who was searching someone elses bag directly in front of him and says something. the partner giraffe necks it to see whats in my bag then immediatly turns around and they both look at me and then akwardly look away fast. after hes done the kid who search my bag (hes about 25 id say) comes up to me and is like "do you know how much money is in that bag!?". i say yes 80k. hes asks where it comes from and i tell him its from a poker tournament and then surprisingly he gives me my bag and lets me go on.

this is where it gets interesting. i land in midway and have like a two hour layover so i walk around aimlessly from one end of the airport to the other and then stop somewhere in between at a less crowded gate. this gate that i stopped at was on the opposite wing of where my gate was. so i sit down and go online, start reading some 2+2 when this badge just flashes in front of my screen and i look up and there are these two, plain clothed cops standing there and they ask "are you michael martin?". I say yeah and they say "we need to ask you a few questions, we're part of the midway anti money laundering unit". im like ok. so we walk a few steps away to an empty gate kiosk and they start asking me some bull**** questions i cant recall what they were but i knew that they were obvioiusly curious about the money from me being stopped in omaha. so i ask if this is about the money and they are surprised that i was aware they knew. they were like yeah and i told them how im a poker player and all that stuff. at this point they seemed to believe me but asked if i had anyway to prove it so i actually went online to hendon mob and showed them the tournament result and they asked how can we trust this site so i showed them a few more and then they were satisfied. the next five minutes or so they were more interested in my career than the money, even asking if i was interested in hiring security. but apparently midway airport has a bad money laundering problem and they said the only legit people who usually carry that kind of cash on them are jewlers.

what i thought was crazy is that these guys had either been following me from the time i landed or had been watching me on video because i literally walked from one end of the airport to the other and then around some more. it probably looked a bit shady me not actually sitting at my gate an hour and fifteen minutes before my flight. guess i lucked out.

[B]Dani "Ansky" Stern: [/B]This one time last year... I was flying back to Montreal from Amsterdam, and while waiting for my luggage in baggage claim, a few Canadian customs guys were walking around our carousel with drug dogs. One of the dogs came up to me and sniffed around at me for a bit and moved on.

After I get my back, three plain clothed officers came up to me as I was walking out and flashed a badge and said (in classic quebecois accent) "excuse me guy, we noticed dat the dog took an interest in your bag, did you see dis?" and i say "uhhh no" or some ****. They ask if I have any drugs on me, and I of course do not. The guy says "well sorry, but the dog is never really wrong so we will have to see about that."

They then pull me into some back room and make me empty my pockets and open up all my bags. At first they are being very rude and telling me to shut up and are making a huge mess of all my stuff. They start asking questions and ask me why I was in Amsterdam if I go to school in Montreal and I explain the whole poker thing. Gradually their questions move from investigative to curiosity, and they are barely looking at my bags anymore. At one point these guys are asking me how much money I make and how much I have ever won in one tournament, and then the one thing that actually looks suspicious in my bag gets uncovered. It was a big white bag which at first glance looked like it could have had a brick of coke in it. It was sealed shut by a bunch of tape and on the inside there was a bunch of white clay looking things (some plates and **** I got in Italy as souvenirs). The guy stops the conversation and looks at it and says "whats dis?" I say "just some plates and things I got in Italy." He doesn't even take a second glance and throws it back in and stops searching my stuff about halfway through all my luggage. He then tells me to pack up my stuff and I'm free to go. He says good luck in poker.

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